- Michael: We all of us have our little secrets. Even I, Michael De Morgan, announcer of this parish, have one. But, um, I'm not telling you otherwise it wouldn't be a secret.
- Phillips: Oh, go on. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Force yourself, Mickey.
- Michael: Mr Phillips, will you please stop taking the Michael. Now, Captain Povey doesn't have a secret, he wishes he had, but he is married to Ramona Povey and with her about he's got about as much chance as Guy Fawkes with out a match. Chief Petty Officer Pertwee thinks he has a million secrets unfortunately they're all known to everybody else including the police. However, Lieutenant Commander Murray really does have a secret which I'm not prepared to divulge, all I will say is that he and his new found lady acquaintance, Rita Ffont-Bittocks, just had a swinging evening at the Gosport and Havant Gasworks Gymkhana, known for short as the G&HGG.