- Michael: All men feel like prisoners at times, and particularly if they're married. There you are, stuck at home knowing the boys are whooping it up down at the local and you're stuck at home with the mother-in-law on one side, the wife on the other, the inevitable Patent Place on the telly in the middle and you don't want to listen to or look at any of them.
- Phillips: I know what you mean. I was trapped once at a dance with this great, big, beautiful, bouncy bird. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And generous with it. Hra, hoo, hoh, ha. I could hardly wait to get her on the floor. Ha, ha, ha. Gosh, the frustration.
- Michael: Alright Mr Phillips, what went wrong?
- Pertwee: Well six to four he took her outside to the car park and showed her how his yo-yo went up and down in the dark.
- Phillips: You were peeping!
- Murray: He always does. That's how the Chief makes a good living on the side.
- Michael: Oh be quiet, the lot of you. Well there's more to escaping from the mother-in-law, the wife or a dance especially if you are in the Royal Navy as Commander Murray, Sub-Lieutenant Phillips and Chief Petty Officer Pertwee are about to find out as they bounce along in the back of a military truck on their way to... somewhere.