Opening remarks[]
- Michael: At some time or other, everybody's been discovered doing something they shouldn't do.
- Phillips: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Filthy swine.
- Michael: For instance, no matter how careful I am whenever I totter home from my local my wife always knows where I've been because every time I breathe out the whole place reeks of peppermints and chlorophyll.
- Phillips: I remember when I was discovered in the woods with a girl guide.
- Murray: Mmm?
- Pertwee: Pardon?
- Phillips: Precisely. You see I was a scout at the time and I was exchanging notes about my knots with Cynthia.
- Murray: Mmm?
- Pertwee: Pardon?
- Phillips: Precisely. Just as we got down to her grannies, err... ha, ha, ha, ha, her father turned up and that's where I made my fatal mistake.
- Murray: Mmm?
- Pertwee: Pardon?
- Phillips: Precisely. I jumped to my feet and I gave him the scout salute.
- Michael: Yes well leaving romance aside, there are many things that have been discovered.
- Pertwee: Yeah well, I've discovered one thing for a start. You know Commander Weatherby from Security?
- Murray and Phillips: Yes.
- Pertwee: Well I've discovered that he sings in his bath.
- Phillips: That I'd love to hear.
- Pertwee: Right, you shall. Usually it's I'm for ever blowing bubbles but coming from him it sounds like this you see...
- Weatherby Singing: Bl I'm frp I'm bl I'm blm-frp-blm-frp-blm-frp I'm for ever bl-for ever, bl-for ever, I'm for ever blow bl-blow bl-blow-ing bu-b-b-bu-bu-b-bubbles. Bri-b-b-b bri-b-b-b bri-b-b-b I'm for ever blow b-b-b-blowing bubbles. Bri-b-b-b bubbles Bri-b-b-b I'm forever b-b-blow-b-b-blow b-b-blow oh to hell with it I've lost the soap.
- Michael: Well I for one don't care about his soap, I'm a kinky foam bath man myself. Anyway you shouldn't be standing around here talking to me, you should be far too busy sailing Troutbridge back from Sardinia.
| Season 13 |
| The TV Documentary I The P.O.W. Escape Exercise I Number One's Married Quarters I Operating for Profit I The Bumble Spit Lighthouse Affair I The Tonipouhaha Treasure I The U.S.A. Navigator Swap I Son Of A Sea Lord I Hypnotising Ramona I The Master of Sardinia I Opportunity Knockers I Friday The 13th I The New NAAFI |