Everybody Down - The Navy Lark Wiki
Advertisement
Everybody Down - The Navy Lark Wiki

Opening remarks[]

(Sound of hoover) You hear that? I've got one. A 15-sided nut for my vacuum cleaner. Listen to it. Majestic power unleashed at long last. Well I knew that if I kept thumping away long enough somebody would send me a 15-sided nut. Actually, as far as I can see, everybody's sent me one. I've had one from H.M.S. Osprey - the Royal Naval Engineering College at Plymouth, the Royal Military Engineering School at Chatham, I've had them from Eastbourne, from Oxford, a fourteen-year-old boy called Chris Collis. In fact, according to the postman, Broadcasting House has been renamed The 15-sided Nut House. I've, I've had three five-sided nuts welded together. 15-sided nuts made in brass, cardboard, ally, plastic, the lot. One gentleman didn't know if I'd got the junior or the large economy sized vacuum cleaner so he sent me two 15-sided nuts. Well thank you all very much indeed. Listen again to the sweet purr of all the smooth engineering that's compressed into Robin's vacuum cleaner as I switch it on again. (Noise of switch - no hoover) That's funny... (noise of switch repeatedly being thrown) Oh now what's wrong... stupid great, clapped out, badly made, left handed. Start, you clown, start!

  • Pertwee: Ya, da, da, da, temper, temper. What seems to be Robin's little problem now?
  • Robin: My vacuum cleaner won't work Mr Pertwee.
  • Pertwee: Oh stone me. Don't tell me you've lost the 15-sided nut again?
  • Robin: Hang on I'll have a look. (clunking noises)
  • Pertwee: Well I... if our post is anything to go by you should have plenty of spares.
  • Robin: I know but they won't help now.
  • Pertwee: Why not?
  • Robin: I've lost the 15-sided bolt that the nut screwed on to.
  • Pertwee: Oh no!
  • Robin: Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, I've lost a 15-sided bolt off my vacuum cleaner. If any of you happen to have one...
  • Pertwee: No, no, no, No, NO! Not again! Can't stand it. Let's get across to Troutbridge and see what Mr Murray and Mr Phillips are up to. Eargh!


Navy Lark Season 6
Wren Chasen Returns I On The Carpet I The Bungalese Spies I Troutbridge’s Party I Rescuing Admirals I Demise Of The Depth Charges I The Struggle For Promotion I Fred Computables I Stormy Weather I Chasing The Kepeac I The Submerged Island I The Sicilian Secret Agent I Germany's Troutbridge I Confirming Povey's Rank I The Calais Dock Strike I Johnson's Memoirs I The Emperor of Tratvia I Open Day I Stuck on a Sandbank
Advertisement