Opening remarks[]
- Barri: The English, from top to working class, have always had a sense of occasion. Ask any husband and wife.
- Wife: Honestly darling, I haven't got a thing to wear.
- Husband: But, damn it darling, you've got a wardrobe full of gowns and dresses and fur coats. But I tell you what, go as you are.
- Wife: Well, alright then. I will.
- Barri: Thank you, Lady Godiva. One of the most difficult occasions is making a public speech, although not for Sir Willoughby Todhunter-Brown. His speeches are always exactly the same. He never knows where he is, so his speech covers every eventuality.
- Sir Todhunter-Brown: Ladies and gentlemen, Chairman and President of this magnificent. May I say that it gives me great pleasure at all times. That goes for my dear wife as well.
- Lady Todhunter-Brown: Here, here. Bully for Willy.
- Sir Todhunter-Brown: Furthermore, as a founder member of the young mothers, I would just like to say, but on the other side of the coin, it could well be said, and far be it from me. No, no my friends, it just isn't. So where will it all end, I hear you asking yourselves, at every street corner where there should be one. Of course, the opposition have an entirely different. So send all your clothes to me, in a plain van, marked this side up, and provided you accept two packets, in exchange for one, this splendid cricket pavilion will reach Brighton by half-past two. Just so long as each and every one of us saves twelve books of stamps and deposits them in a current account, in the wardrobe, with our friendly bank manager who only yesterday. Right, that's it. You can applaud now I've finished.
- Barri: There are also embarrassing occasions, particularly for Captain Povey who seems to have been lumbered with an outsized one by his dear wife, Ramona. He's even now about to eat humble pie in the wardroom of H.M.S. Troutbridge if he's to survive it.
| Season 14 |
| The Montezuela Revolution I The Island Swordfish I Bunged in the Brig (a.k.a. Bunged in the Rattle) I Kangaroo Polka (a.k.a. Kidnapped Down Under) I The Digital Isles Go Unstable I Egbert Hitches a Ride I Povey an Admiral at Last I The Bergan Horse Trials I Captain Povey's Wig I Brain Pill I Operation Showcase (a.k.a. Demonstrating Their Fire Power) I Living the High Life (a.k.a. CPO Pertwee Yachtmonger) I The Talpinium Shell |