Opening remarks[]
- Robin: Now about this saucy Lillian Gish calendar that was nicked out of my office at Broadcasting House.
- Pertwee: Oh blimey, look you still going on about that?
- Robin: Well, yes Mr Pertwee, I am. I'm not a chap to harp as a rule but there is somebody, somewhere who's gawping at Robin's saucy Lillian Gish calendar, when Robin should be gawping at the delectable Miss Gish in his office.
- Pertwee: Dirty old devil!
- Robin: Not at all! Miss Gish was at all times provocative, but never abandoned.
- Pertwee: Well in that case what are you making all this flaming fuss about?
- Robin: Well if you must know the loss of Miss Gish's calendar's left a dirty patch on my office wallpaper. I erm, I tried to cover it with a framed picture of highland cattle but just wasn't the same.
- Phillips: No I don't suppose it was. Actually, if it would help, I do have a spare Noddy in Bingoland calendar. January shows Big Ears and Mr Plod, February shows Noddy having his...
- Robin: No, strangely enough, Mr Phillips, that wouldn't be the same either. In fact, come to think of it, nothing is ever going to be quite the same. Especially for you.
- Phillips: Pardon? What's, what's, what's, what's he talking about?
- Robin: Look, I suggest you nip along to Number 1's cabin and find out.
- Phillips: What's Number 1 want?