Opening remarks
- Robin: Now then, about this saucy Lillian Gish calendar that was nicked out of Robin's office at Broadcasting House. If Robin ever finds out who is gawping at the delectable and provocative, but never immodest, Miss Gish, when Robin should be gawping at her, the blighter won't need a calendar for next year, he'll be in hospital. I'll get hold of him...
- Pertwee: Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah temper, temper.
- Robin: Well!
- Pertwee: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
- Robin: Well how would you...
- Pertwee: Ah, ah.
- Robin: Oh, dirty wash basins to the lot of you.
- Pertwee: Oooh, how common.
- Murray: No they're not what they were, are they? At one time they used to change into the evening dress to read the news. But now you feel honoured if they turn up in a tatty sports jacket and their old gardening trousers.
- Robin: These are not my old gardening trousers.
- Phillips: Well off hand I'd say it's time they were.
- Robin: Now look here!
- Pertwee: Now look, alright, Gents please, now look, anymore and he'll never says his little piece. Mr Boyle, announcer of this parish, kindly accept this saucy Lillian Gish calendar from us all - and belt up!
- Robin: At last, oh how wonderful, after all these weeks, oh I am... now just a minute! This isn't saucy Lillian Gish. These pictures are of naughty Dorothy Gish, her sister.
- Pertwee: Look, one more word out of you Robin, my son, and we'll swap it for a calendar of sexy Sydney Gish, her brother! Now look, get chatting.
- Robin: Perhaps I'd better. Well, todays the day Whitehall breathes a sigh of relief as the crew of H.M.S. Troutbridge are about to go on leave. In his cabin Lieutenant Murray is busy signing the leave passes and the railway warrants.