Have you noticed that once you get in to the doghouse with women, everything you say or do to patch things up makes it worse. Recently, after a week in Fido's home, the last straw came when I forgot to pay the electric light bill and we were cut off. Well, I pretended that I had done it deliberately so that my wife and I could have a romantic meal together by candlelight. She reckoned I'd done it because I thought she looked so awful I preferred to eat in the dark. Well you just can't win. Sub-Lieutenant Phillips certainly can't with Heather even though he's got a witness with him to prove that he was working late at the ship last night.