Everybody Down - The Navy Lark Wiki


Captain Povey's report of a leaky radiator in his office results in the Admiralty launching a security clampdown.

Opening remarks[]

  • Murray: We all have our little secrets. In my wife's case it's her age, and in my case it's my wife's age. Unless I want to live on burnt toast and frozen solid fish fingers for the rest of my life.
  • Pertwee: Here, funnily enough Mr De Morgan, I haven't got any secrets.
  • Phillips: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, come now, Chief.
  • Pertwee: No it's true, Mr Phillips. Err, all what I thought were my little secrets are written down in the police files.
  • Phillips: How do you know?
  • Pertwee: Well, every time I walk past a rozzer he gives me a knowing wink and gesture which is anything but complimentary.
  • Phillips: Ah, complimentary. Now that's an interesting word.
  • Pertwee: Oh, what is?
  • Phillips: Complimentary.
  • Pertwee: Yeah?
  • Phillips: Mmm, funnily enough they gave the derivation of the word in my comic last week.
  • Pertwee: Oh blimey! Mr Oxford's Concise and Unabridged English Twit is off again.
  • Phillips: No, it's jolly interesting, very educational. It breaks down into several parts.
  • Pertwee: Yes?
  • Phillips: Com, meaning one of the pair of unmentionables, or as in the popular melody, com into the garden Maude. The next bit is ply, as in that terribly, terribly thin wood. And then there's ment, as in for real, and the past tense of mean, meaning cheap. Finally, we have 'ary, who because he's a Cockney sort of chap, drops his H.
  • Pertwee: I see, Mr Phillips Sir. So according to your comic the word complimentary means an H dropping gentleman called Harry is calling to his wife Maude to come into the garden because he's got both feet trapped down one leg of her terribly, terribly thin wooden coms.
  • Michael: Now if anybody can remember what I said after that load of old rope it was we all have secrets, and as far as the Navy's concerned on this particular day, Friday the 13th, Chief Petty Officer Pertwee, Sub-Lieutenant Phillips and the Captain of Troutbridge, Commander Murray, are no exception.

Season 13
The TV Documentary I The P.O.W. Escape Exercise I Number One's Married Quarters I Operating for Profit I The Bumble Spit Lighthouse Affair I The Tonipouhaha Treasure I The U.S.A. Navigator Swap I Son Of A Sea Lord I Hypnotising Ramona I The Master of Sardinia I Opportunity Knockers I Friday The 13th I The New NAAFI