Opening remarks[edit | edit source]
The trouble with relatives is that you don't get a chance to choose them. They're a dead lumber. I've got a certain maiden aunt who shouldn't even happen to an ITV announcer. Actually, I've just found out that the commercial TV mob don't have announcers they have Presentation Personnel. Now that's rather like calling my maiden aunt a sex kitten. But of course, HMS Troutbridge have their relatives too and even they have to meet them once a year on Families' Day.