Opening remarks[]
The prospect of meeting an Admiral first thing in the morning is enough to give any naval officer a sleepless night.
- Phillips: No, no, no. I think you're wrong Pertwee. It is his own hair.
- Michael: I beg your pardon?
- Pertwee: I'm very sorry to interrupt Mr De Morgan Sir, announcer of this parish, just a small difference of opinion between Mr Phillips and myself.
- Michael: Oh, well. The prospect of meeting an admiral first thing in...
- Phillips: After all, if it was a wig, you'd be able to see the canvas. There'd be glue marks on the forehead.
- Pertwee: No, no. Not these days sir. No, no. With the sort of money these announcer blokes make they can afford the best.
- Michael: Now look here...
- Pertwee: We are. And I reckon it's a wig.
- Phillips: And I reckon it isn't.
- Pertwee: Then why is it always the same length every week?
- Michael: Not that it's any of your business Mr Pertwee but it is my own hair.
- Phillips: See.
- Pertwee: Then why doesn't it grow?
- Michael: It does grow.
- Pertwee: There you are, I told you Mr Phillips, it is one of the best, it even grows.
- Michael: Oh buzz off! Go on, buzz off! B, b, b, b, b, buzz off, buzz off, go on!
- Phillips: Tut, tut, tut, tut. Just not our class of person.
- Pertwee: Very common.
- Murray: Just not what they were in the days of Savoy Hill, are they?
- Michael: As I was saying...
- Phillips: He's upset, Chief.
- Pertwee: You can tell.
- Murray: His ears are going pink.
- Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, the prospect of meeting an Admiral first thing in the morning is one thing, but having to meet his Flag Lieutenant first thing is going beyond the call of duty. A statement with which Captain Povey would heartily agree.