If ever there's a moment in your life when you have cause to feel utter consternation and alarm, it is when you know some part of your personal property is going to be subjected to the evil eyed scrutiny of an expert. One thing is certain, no matter what it is, it will be inspected and found wanting. Like the time you decide to sell your car. After three days of back breaking polishing and ingenious concealment of the major faults, the dealer arrives. After a quick walk round he's spotted four clapped out parts which can't be replaced because they don't make spares for your model anymore, discovered all the faults you so cunningly covered up, poked his finger through the rust at the bottom of the door and finally promised not to report that your road tax licence is out of date on condition that you pay him a fiver to tow the disintegrating heap of rusty junk away. But, this soul-destroying experience is nothing compared with the utter misery of a ship's inspection in the Navy. Particularly if your ship happens to be Troutbridge, and inspection is being carried out by the Admiral.