Everybody Down - The Navy Lark Wiki
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Opening remarks[]

  • Barri: We have a lot to thank science for. I mean if it hadn't been for scientists working day and night in their laboratories mankind would never have had the benefit of such vital inventions as penicillin, atomic power, North Sea gas and the telephone answering service. When you dial your friend, if he's out and you're connected with one of these it's terribly embarrassing because, after you've been commanded to speak now, you realise you're talking to yourself and you feel a right twit.
  • (Phone dialling and ringing).
  • Miss Answering Machine: This is the Sorry We're Out telephone answering machine service. Your message for Mr and Mrs Stacey will be recorded. Please speak clearly and distinctly and speak now.
  • Charles: Oh, err, yes, m-ha-ha. Ahem, hmm. A... Ha... Hello Mr and Mrs Stacey, m-ha-ha, I mean ha-ha Hello Babs and Cyril. Ha. This is me, ha-ha, Charles. Yes, I, I, I mean erm Charley Gadsby, ha-ha, broadcasting on your wavelength, what? M-ha-Ha-ha. He-he. H-hmm, yeah. Well I, err, if you're still listening, I thoroughly enjoyed the party last night, O-oh and Babs, a-ha, h-ho, thank you so much for taking me outside to the garage and showing me your hard-top. W-ha-ha, err wrong again, I, I was talking about her convertibles, a, err, convertible, a there I go again, na I mean her new car. I-incidentally that home made wine of yours doesn't half pack a kick like a mule, yes well it certainly kicked me as you may have noticed. Oh, incidentally if you haven't found your dustbin yet as I left I tipped the contents over your neighbours front garden. He-he, oh yes, I, I almost forgot to tell you, err, thank you Miss Sorry We're Out Answering Machine Service.
  • Miss Answering Machine: My pleasure. Do you know you're the first person to say thank you since I was made?
  • Barri: But science hasn't finished yet. Fortunately, it isn't only confined to civilians, it also affects the services. Unfortunately, because of that, it affects blonde bonce twits like Sub-Lieutenant Phillips. He's been flown back from H.M.S. Troutbridge on a special course and is about to be interviewed by a team of top scientists.


Season 14
The Montezuela Revolution I The Island Swordfish I Bunged in the Brig (a.k.a. Bunged in the Rattle) I Kangaroo Polka (a.k.a. Kidnapped Down Under) I The Digital Isles Go Unstable I Egbert Hitches a Ride I Povey an Admiral at Last I The Bergan Horse Trials I Captain Povey's Wig I Brain Pill I Operation Showcase (a.k.a. Demonstrating Their Fire Power) I Living the High Life (a.k.a. CPO Pertwee Yachtmonger) I The Talpinium Shell
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