Of all social engagements perhaps the one most fraught with difficulties is the invitation to dine out with friends. It starts the moment you enter a restaurant and discover your host and hostess have not arrived. Four drinks and half an hour later you begin to wonder if they said eight o'clock on the ninth or nine o'clock on the eighth. Your wife checks her diary and discovers you've got the date and time right but you're in the wrong restaurant. Well when you finally arrive at the right one, you're now over an hour late and your host hasn't been able to hold the table any longer, and also, owing to a trade fair, all the other restaurants are fully booked so you all end up back at your place wearing full evening dress eating baked beans on toast. Course these problems are nothing compared with the ones confronting Able Seaman Johnson and Leading Seaman Goldstein when they're invited to dine out with Chief Petty Officer Pertwee.